Monday, April 27, 2009
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Thursday, April 2, 2009
I will DANCE if I want to
Last Saturday I was at a friend’s house when two guys from downstairs came up to visit. One mentioned going to the dance club, I had just been the week before (see post below for more details). He said there was a girl there that “was on some stupid ‘I just wanna dance trip’ that night” and she was rejecting all the men that went and tried to dance with her. He called her a “cunt” because of it. Yes, I just said it. A c-u-n-t. I have never in my life actually heard anyone ever call a woman that. I don’t hang with “those people” apparently.
I regret not having the energy or desire to call him out on his shit but I was so shocked by the sheer audacity of this asshole, in a room of four women, to call another woman that. And yet when he said that, all of us women remained silent. Our silence implied it was okay that he just said that. We were bystanders. However, I would hope that we all are not okay with the derogatory use of that word. Of course, I think it is funny that the worst thing he could call her was something in reference to female anatomy. That’s shocking. What will he come up with next? Vagina? Wow! Good job thinking of something creative. Obviously, part of me still wants to go yell at him. But that would not be productive.
So…Why shouldn’t a woman have the ability to go out and dance without being hit on and danced with by many different men. It might be shocking news for this dude but I know I don’t go out to dance so some creepy guy can start grinding up on me or my friends. I go out to dance and have fun. If you want to dance with me you can ask. You can talk to me when I am not dancing. You could buy me a drink. I will turn you down if I want. I will push you away if you act like a creeper. And I will dance when I want to dance. Don’t treat me like a sexual object and I won’t treat you like one.
Rejection hurts but you don’t need to go around calling women names to boost your depressed ego. Please grow up.
I regret not having the energy or desire to call him out on his shit but I was so shocked by the sheer audacity of this asshole, in a room of four women, to call another woman that. And yet when he said that, all of us women remained silent. Our silence implied it was okay that he just said that. We were bystanders. However, I would hope that we all are not okay with the derogatory use of that word. Of course, I think it is funny that the worst thing he could call her was something in reference to female anatomy. That’s shocking. What will he come up with next? Vagina? Wow! Good job thinking of something creative. Obviously, part of me still wants to go yell at him. But that would not be productive.
So…Why shouldn’t a woman have the ability to go out and dance without being hit on and danced with by many different men. It might be shocking news for this dude but I know I don’t go out to dance so some creepy guy can start grinding up on me or my friends. I go out to dance and have fun. If you want to dance with me you can ask. You can talk to me when I am not dancing. You could buy me a drink. I will turn you down if I want. I will push you away if you act like a creeper. And I will dance when I want to dance. Don’t treat me like a sexual object and I won’t treat you like one.
Rejection hurts but you don’t need to go around calling women names to boost your depressed ego. Please grow up.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Creeper Patrol
It’s a Saturday night and you and your girl friends decide to go out to a bar/dance club. You all have a few drinks before heading out on the dance floor. Two songs later there is a guy coming over to dance with you and your friends. In an effort to dodge the creeper you all move around the dance floor away from the guy that approaches. But he gets closer and starts dancing close to your friend who obviously doesn’t like what is going on. She moves in between two friends to get away from him but he just dances with the girl closest to him. What do you do?
This is just one of many things I have seen happen out at dance clubs and I don’t go out very often. It amazes me that it is okay for guys to do this. And even more amazing is that women put up with it. I think women feel helpless in the situation. They want to dance and have fun and not ruin the moment so they do subtle things like moving away. Thinking the creeper will take the hint.
I have felt this way when a strange guy tries to dance with me and my friends. I have let it happen, not knowing what to do in the situation. I had not prepared myself for the situation one of the first times I went out. For this reason alone, I really disliked going out to clubs where it might occur.
So about a week ago, I went out with a few friends (it was the first time in a long time). The dance floor was not crowded and I was happy to see a group of slightly older women out dancing the night away. But it didn’t take long for some creeper to come dance with me and my friends. My friends tried to move around the dance floor to get away. They tried to dance with each other but he just joined the end of the line. When he finally got close to me, I just pushed him away. I put my hand on his chest and pushed slightly so he would know he was not welcome to dance with us. And it worked! He backed up, shrugged his shoulders and left. I was surprised by how easy it was to dodge this guy with direct contact. My friends’ mood instantly improved as they felt comfortable to dance once again.
Later that night another guy did the same thing but this time I was confident and got rid of him fast. I am all for people picking up people at bars and clubs but just because I am a woman dancing does not give you permission to come start grinding up on me. I go out to have fun, NOT to be turned into a SEXUAL OBJECT on the dance floor. Some people might be okay with it but if they start running away you should take it as a sign that “they’re just NOT that into you” (apologies for quoting a stupid book that became a movie). And women if he is too dim or drunk to get the hint, direct actions work well. Although I promise he will call you names to his friends later (see next post above).
So I am sure most, if not all, women have experienced this before. I am interested in what you have done about it? Leave answers in comments ...
This is just one of many things I have seen happen out at dance clubs and I don’t go out very often. It amazes me that it is okay for guys to do this. And even more amazing is that women put up with it. I think women feel helpless in the situation. They want to dance and have fun and not ruin the moment so they do subtle things like moving away. Thinking the creeper will take the hint.
I have felt this way when a strange guy tries to dance with me and my friends. I have let it happen, not knowing what to do in the situation. I had not prepared myself for the situation one of the first times I went out. For this reason alone, I really disliked going out to clubs where it might occur.
So about a week ago, I went out with a few friends (it was the first time in a long time). The dance floor was not crowded and I was happy to see a group of slightly older women out dancing the night away. But it didn’t take long for some creeper to come dance with me and my friends. My friends tried to move around the dance floor to get away. They tried to dance with each other but he just joined the end of the line. When he finally got close to me, I just pushed him away. I put my hand on his chest and pushed slightly so he would know he was not welcome to dance with us. And it worked! He backed up, shrugged his shoulders and left. I was surprised by how easy it was to dodge this guy with direct contact. My friends’ mood instantly improved as they felt comfortable to dance once again.
Later that night another guy did the same thing but this time I was confident and got rid of him fast. I am all for people picking up people at bars and clubs but just because I am a woman dancing does not give you permission to come start grinding up on me. I go out to have fun, NOT to be turned into a SEXUAL OBJECT on the dance floor. Some people might be okay with it but if they start running away you should take it as a sign that “they’re just NOT that into you” (apologies for quoting a stupid book that became a movie). And women if he is too dim or drunk to get the hint, direct actions work well. Although I promise he will call you names to his friends later (see next post above).
So I am sure most, if not all, women have experienced this before. I am interested in what you have done about it? Leave answers in comments ...
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