LOVE

I think love is an interesting topic.  There is so much to say and discuss. What is Love? When the Bible talks about unconditional love what is it talking about? How do you love unconditionally? How is this different from romantic love? What is romantic love? Do you believe in love at first sight?  How does that work? Is all love equal? Why do people judge or rank love?

There are so many questions and even more answers.  But I think first we should talk about what exactly love is.  Look at this wikipedia definition:

"Love usually refers to a deep, ineffable feeling of tenderly caring for another person. Even this limited conception of love, however, encompasses a wealth of different feelings, from the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love to the nonsexual emotional closeness of familial and platonic love to the profound oneness or devotion of religious love."

We live our lives around all these forms of love and yet we never really sit down to discuss what that means. Most commonly love comes up when talking about romantic love.  Have you found that special someone? Do you love each other? And then there are all those other questions about engagement and marriage.  Have you found the person to spend the rest of your life with? As a female, I particularly dread this line of questioning. Sometimes I feel like that is all some people are interested in.  Sometimes I feel like I need to yell at them that I am a whole person! And my life is not defined and does not revolve around this idea of romantic love or finding that one special person as much as the media may try to tell me to the contrary. Currently, I know about six people that are engaged which I think is great.  But I didn't want to write this post only about romantic love so I feel the need to move on at this point. 

So let's jump into what the Bible says about love. It is quite a lot when you look in the concordance.  There are easily 50+ references to love. The Bible abounds with love. Right? Isn't that the main message? The great commandment is "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all you mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it : You shall love you neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets." (Matthew 22: 37-40)  Or to look at John 13: 34 "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another."

Jesus loved everyone no matter what, unconditionally.  So if love is caring for another person then what is unconditional love. Simply it is love without condition. It is loving without judging which is harder than it sounds.  Most people are quick to judge others or label them. Loving unconditionally requires an open heart and mind. It requires finding the positive and searching for the truth. Often we make rash decisions about individuals without finding or seeking for the real truth.

A radical idea that is not often mentioned. If you are to love your neighbor as yourself and you are to love one another just as God has loved us then you are to love yourself just as God loves you.  I think self love is one of the hardest things.  How many of you would talk to your neighbor the way you talk to yourself?  We all have this internal dialogue. Take a day and really think about the way you talk about and to yourself. Are you too negative? Would you talk to a friend, neighbor or acquaintance in the same manner? Why or why not? We are quick to judge others but quickest to judge ourselves. 

To go back to the first commandment to love God with all your heart, sole and mind. Many times we let other things get in the way of that.  Sometimes we fill the void with material things or just let life get in the way. Othertimes we fill the void not with God's love but with romantic love. I have done this. Many years ago I dated this guy for over two years.  After we broke up, I realized how I was using him to fill this void in my life. I truly believe that you have to know and love yourself before you can know and love another especially in a romantic way.  Also, you have to be open to accepting that love, which I think boils down to whether you actually think you are worth being loved. Are you going to accept something you don't think you deserve? How can you let another love you if you don't love yourself? How can people be so ready to accept conditional love from other people and not unconditional love from God?

Loving yourself is knowing your value doesn’t change when you open your heart to others. Or more simply loving yourself allows you to love unconditionally.

Would love to hear any thoughts on this ...  please comment ...