Love and Belonging

Last summer I read two books by Marisa de los Santos, Love Walked In and Belong to Me. To this day, I still love and remember the messages of those two books.  You don't always find love where you think you will and belonging is something we continually search for as we enter each phase of life.

Have you found where you belong? What have you been searching for? Where have you looked?

I believe that as we search for love and belonging we will find ourselves.  Or I suppose that as we look for ourselves we will find love and belonging. For many people, their immediate family and home may be the place they first find love and belonging.  But equally, I'm sure, people find nothing resembling love or belonging and leave their home environment to find it elsewhere.  The entire book Eat, Pray, Love  by Elizabeth Gilbert is written on finding just those things in three very different places. In her case, it was a love of life that she found and the spirit of belonging wherever you reside.  In talking with many college students and being one myself, it seems that finding belonging is their/our ultimate goal. They are usually searching for their place in the world.  For quite awhile, I connected to Taylor Swift's song "A place in this world."  I didn't know what I wanted.  I felt alone and on my own in figuring it out. I was "just a girl trying to find a place in this world." And for awhile I didn't feel like I was really doing anything or going anywhere.  There was no progress just life. But now I know where I want to go and it is just a matter of getting there. Of course sometimes a step forward comes with a step back but as long as there is forward momentum I am hopeful that things will continue to work out.

I feel like I have bounced around a lot on where it is that I belong. Is it with this certian group of friends? How about these people over here or those people over there?  In my search, I have learned a lot about myself.  I have learned where I don't belong but am still hesitant about where I do belong.

23 Things I have learned in my 23 years:
1. Sleep is important and getting too much is just as bad as getting too little.
2. Worrying about the small stuff is not a productive use of time.
3. It is important to indulge your inner child and experience that child like joy once in a while.
4. Spend time with those you love.
5. Find something that relaxes you and do it often.
6. Everyone is different but it doesn't mean you can't get along.
7. Make sure to send Thank You's.
8. Being organized is not about subscribing to the popular notion of organization.
9. Be early or ON TIME.
10. Find something you like about yourself everyday.
11. Learn how to say no ... politely.
12. Set aside time for quiet reflection.
13. Spread Joy whenever you can ... it all starts with a smile.
14. In most cases, reading a book is better than watching a movie.
15. You are probably a feminist and don't even know it.
16. Take time to enjoy nature and its beauty. When was the last time you looked at the stars?
17. Make sure to set your privacy settings on social networking sites.
18. Exercise.
19. Be willing to change but not for someone else's sake.
20. Believe in yourself and anything will be possible.
21. Adopt a pet from your local shelter.
22. When you figure out your passion, find a way to turn it into your job.
23.  It is easy to let others depend on you but hard to give up control to others .... but trust is one of the most rewarding things... try it.

Why are you looking in so many places and not just within yourself?

"I have looked and not found myself in wrong places, spaces, ideas. You do not reside in other people, classes, groups. True identity comes from within and that is found right where you are, right where you sit, right where you live. " Part of a poem from 2008